Research Paper Draft(j#2)

Hi Kellyann,

Sorry about the wait, it's been a busy weekend for us. I did have a chance to look over your write-up and here are some thoughts. Sorry the bullet formatting doesn't work on this e-mail client, so bear with me:

You do an excellent job of summarizing the story and certainly convey the who, what, where, when and why. It’s a bit long and could use some trimming. Like most things on the internet, the important information needs to be quickly identifiable or your reader moves on, so you may want to include the title of the book and the author in your intro paragraph.

Unfortunately a detailed summary, especially one with plot spoilers, isn't a very useful review. Readers want to know enough about the plot of the book to see if it might interest them or if it's worth their time to read. I like that you mentioned the main characters and the way you set up the beginning of their struggle. In fact you could pretty much take your first paragraph and your last paragraph and get rid of the rest (since it's all summary).

If you think about the purpose of a "review" you'll see how important it is to provide more than just a summary. Reviews need to have critical comments about the story and book as a whole.

Is the writing style clear and effective?
Does the book raise issues or topics for discussion?
What contribution does the book make to the field (or local literature)?
Are the characters and setting fairly represented?
What was done well (what was good about it)?
What could have been done better?

The great thing about blogs is that they can be personal, that is why Alex and I always include in our reviews what we personally liked or disliked about the book.

Book reviews typically end with a recommendation, which you did. You can also compare the book to something similar and say “If you liked Book A then you’ll like ‘Mililani Mauka’”.

I’m not sure if you proofed this before you sent it but just watch out for those general grammar errors and mind your verb tense consistency. Otherwise great job!

Here's a great resource for writing book reviews: http://www.lavc.edu/library/bookreview.htm

If you have any more questions or comments for us please feel free to e-mail us any time. If you shorten your review summary and add a few more critical comments we would love to post it on our blog under your name. Let us know, for us there is no deadline so you can take your time.

Mahalo,

Misty
Hawaii Book Blog