Hi Kellyann,
Sorry about the wait, it's been a busy weekend for us. I did have a chance to look over your write-up and here are some thoughts. Sorry the bullet formatting doesn't work on this e-mail client, so bear with me:
You do an excellent job of summarizing the story and certainly convey the who, what, where, when and why. It’s a bit long and could use some trimming. Like most things on the internet, the important information needs to be quickly identifiable or your reader moves on, so you may want to include the title of the book and the author in your intro paragraph.
Unfortunately a detailed summary, especially one with plot spoilers, isn't a very useful review. Readers want to know enough about the plot of the book to see if it might interest them or if it's worth their time to read. I like that you mentioned the main characters and the way you set up the beginning of their struggle. In fact you could pretty much take your first paragraph and your last paragraph and get rid of the rest (since it's all summary).
If you think about the purpose of a "review" you'll see how important it is to provide more than just a summary. Reviews need to have critical comments about the story and book as a whole.
Is the writing style clear and effective?
Does the book raise issues or topics for discussion?
What contribution does the book make to the field (or local literature)?
Are the characters and setting fairly represented?
What was done well (what was good about it)?
What could have been done better?
The great thing about blogs is that they can be personal, that is why Alex and I always include in our reviews what we personally liked or disliked about the book.
Book reviews typically end with a recommendation, which you did. You can also compare the book to something similar and say “If you liked Book A then you’ll like ‘Mililani Mauka’”.
I’m not sure if you proofed this before you sent it but just watch out for those general grammar errors and mind your verb tense consistency. Otherwise great job!
Here's a great resource for writing book reviews: http://www.lavc.edu/library/bookreview.htm
If you have any more questions or comments for us please feel free to e-mail us any time. If you shorten your review summary and add a few more critical comments we would love to post it on our blog under your name. Let us know, for us there is no deadline so you can take your time.
Mahalo,
Misty
Hawaii Book Blog
Monday, May 17, 2010
Saturday, May 15, 2010
'This I Believe' Essay
You sit down on your couch and turn on the TV, you see a movie like, Bruce Almighty, Three Days, etc., - that the moral of the story is “live life to the fullest” and “and never take things for granted.” You read a romantic love story and the message is about the same. These movies, books, TV shows, or just stories in general have this message and it’s all cliché. Cliché enough that we can predict the whole story by just hearing the beginning part. But do we really understand what message they are trying to get across? They say “never take things for granted” but maybe we’re taking that whole message for granted. We need to understand the value and take those words piece-by-piece. Every little message life gives us has meaning.
I was sitting in school updating my Facebook status on my phone. Then, my sister comments on it saying, “Dads in the hospital.” “WHY?! WHAT HAPPENED?!” She says he was driving and wasn’t feeling too well so he pulled over and called the ambulance. I thought to myself “Did I say Good Morning to my dad today?” “Why didn’t I say I Love You?” If I knew that when I said bye to him it would be the last I ever did, I would’ve made it the best bye he’s ever gotten or would I not even say bye because I would miss him way too much that way?
I kept thinking that I was not a good child that I could’ve been more deserving of his generosity. Like at times when he’d complain about his back or his neck being sore I’d tease and say, “It’s because you’re getting old!” and when he would ask me to do something for him I’d find some idiotic remark filled with attitude to say back. This day made me want to relieve my life and watch what I say.
Finally, the bell rings! I run to the bathroom and call my sister back and because of the unsteadiness of my fingers it was a little harder to dial. She answers and I ask, “Is he ok?!” before she even has a chance to say something. She hands the phone over to my fad and I hear his voice say perfectly fine, “Hello.” Hearing his voice made my heart drop. All that built up fear all let loose and I could finally take that sigh of relief.
From this experience I realized that everyday is something special. That we should NOT be saying, “oh, I’ll do it tomorrow.” Value the people around you and the memories you could be making. They say when you go through a near death experience, it changes your life. Not only did it change my dad’s life but it changed my life. Now, I never want to take anything for granted. I don’t want to be that kind of person again. My name is Kelly and I am living life the best way.
I was sitting in school updating my Facebook status on my phone. Then, my sister comments on it saying, “Dads in the hospital.” “WHY?! WHAT HAPPENED?!” She says he was driving and wasn’t feeling too well so he pulled over and called the ambulance. I thought to myself “Did I say Good Morning to my dad today?” “Why didn’t I say I Love You?” If I knew that when I said bye to him it would be the last I ever did, I would’ve made it the best bye he’s ever gotten or would I not even say bye because I would miss him way too much that way?
I kept thinking that I was not a good child that I could’ve been more deserving of his generosity. Like at times when he’d complain about his back or his neck being sore I’d tease and say, “It’s because you’re getting old!” and when he would ask me to do something for him I’d find some idiotic remark filled with attitude to say back. This day made me want to relieve my life and watch what I say.
Finally, the bell rings! I run to the bathroom and call my sister back and because of the unsteadiness of my fingers it was a little harder to dial. She answers and I ask, “Is he ok?!” before she even has a chance to say something. She hands the phone over to my fad and I hear his voice say perfectly fine, “Hello.” Hearing his voice made my heart drop. All that built up fear all let loose and I could finally take that sigh of relief.
From this experience I realized that everyday is something special. That we should NOT be saying, “oh, I’ll do it tomorrow.” Value the people around you and the memories you could be making. They say when you go through a near death experience, it changes your life. Not only did it change my dad’s life but it changed my life. Now, I never want to take anything for granted. I don’t want to be that kind of person again. My name is Kelly and I am living life the best way.
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