My writing experiences include essays I've written, classes I've taken, & books I've read. I think my writing became more developed when I reached High School. Before, I've never really written essays that are personal, which is my most successful topic. Things that are more personal & more about what I think are much easier to write because then I have no limit to what I can talk about. Bumping up my writing status in High School was really good for me. I got to understand the breakdown of an essay & its traits that should reflect in each writing piece. I knew the basics like beginnings, middles, & ends but when I was introduced to 6 traits of writing I got to fully understand how to write essays in a more proffessional level.
My goals in writing is to have my story flow and connect together putting them in the right sequences. I want to make the readers more interested with every line & have them say, "I think that was the best one I've heard." Also, to have less "dictionary words" and to have more specific ones. Another one would be to fully understand all 6 traits and how vital they are to a piece of writing.
My goals in writing is to have my story flow and connect together putting them in the right sequences. I want to make the readers more interested with every line & have them say, "I think that was the best one I've heard." Also, to have less "dictionary words" and to have more specific ones. Another one would be to fully understand all 6 traits and how vital they are to a piece of writing.
Hi Kelleh!
ReplyDeleteGreat to hear that the 6 traits process has helped you to improve your writing. And I agree that understanding the role played by the traits in a piece of writing can help you to impprove it :)
As far as your pro-con impromptu on technology in the classroom, you did a good job in your outline of listing both pros and cons to your thesis.
I think more of those arguments could have been brought into the actual essay. The essay itself did a nice job of incorporating material from the two articles, to provide specific support. I think it shows your understanding of ideas and specific detail :)
I think some of the wording could be improved if the ideas were stated more simply and directly. Here's an example from the second paragraph: "...officials think that the only was to stop them is cut them off of it completely with punishments." It would probably be stronger just to say "...officials think that the only was to stop them is punishment."
Nice job of using key words/concepts from the articles in your essay. Nice attempt to vary sentence structure with short and long sentences.
We'll need to work on some grammatical stuff, like subject verb agreement ("I, as a student, admits").
Over all, you're starting from a good foundation...we'll continue to "bump it up," especially with focus on specifics, word choice, and sentence fluency :)
mrs s